Is looking for man wot shot me paw...

I is not a happy mutt. Me playing with Boss last night and went scamper round new place. Me like play scamper. I hurt me paw, so no visit to the cookie man. When me an Boss go walkies, cookie man give me cookies. I like lots.

Now have hurt paw, no walkies, so no cookies. Very bad. Boss him say; "Me not carry you for walkies. boy. You use the yard." He a big ole meany. Then he gives I cookies, so maybe he not such a bad Boss after all.

Boss lot happies now Missy Boss home. Him not such an old grouchy boots. This makes I happies. Well, it would if my paw di'nt hurt. Missy Boss fuss and cuddle I. Me likes. I wan' little Missies here so all be happies.

Is also happies that Boss let me out of box at night so me can be big brave guard dog an bark at all the noises, till him say; "Shut up you stoopid mutt, I's try to sleep." I likes lots.

Lonelies

Missy gone long walkies an not comin back for over a dog year. Not like. Boss no like. Him smell sad and lonely but not say so.

I meen, wassa dog to do? Got no talks to make boss feel better and me try doggy doctrin, but him tell me put my tongue away cos him no like.

Me cuddle to bosses leg an he scratch me ears which big goods. Me like, but Boss got such big sads I's can feel it.

I's only a dog.

BAD HUMNA'S!

Boss look at me an him say "Sorry boy, got to cut down carbon, so no more pets."

WHAT! I is one vewy pissed off mutt. Me look for peeps to bite cos they tell my boss he gotta send me away. I no wanna leeve my Boss. Him my bestest pack leeder. Them say no more cuddles at Boss feetz? No more walkies? Hah! Who is them?

Wossis stoopid carbon stuff anyshows? Is like charcoal biccy boss gimme when me get the farts and missy boss get cross? Not like. Nasty peeps say him keep pet for eatings, not fussings. Boss say if keeps for eetingz is not pet. I is house dog. I got proper job guard boss an missy from bad things.

Boss can eat nasty green peeps, no me. Nasty green peeps is dogfood. Mutts hates greens! Send 'em to humna vets for bricking. I no leev my boss!

Pikture him say lotz of wordz;

see more dog and puppy pictures

Much strangeness

Boss very strange today. Him talkin' like there ovver humna's in rum. I fink he tellin I off. Me not like so go hide in box. Him say angry stuff and scare me, but then him call me and fuss me an say "No bovver boy. You good dog."

Me fink my Boss very strange. He spend far too much time wiv folding placcy clicky 'pooter.

Cats is no clean

Catz is own punishment. Cats carry icky diseases. Hah! that teech next doors moggy to call me 'dirty ol mutt. I show him report fing from bosses paper sayin' cat owners got mersa. Him no call me no 'dirty ol mutt no more. I tell him he can lick hisself all he wants but him still a mucky moggy.

I'd roll in bear shit if I could find me some, I's so happy. Woof!

Bifstooo! Gimme Bifstoo!

Boss say 'no' and 'bad dog' when I try sneakies into the foods place. No my fault. It him makin lots of lubberly smelly stuff in hot box that smell of fartz. Lass night, Boss gimme treat for being very good. Him say, "Hey boy. You wan treat?" Was my mother a bitch? Corse I wanna treet. Treets is good stuff and makes I much happys.

Boss call stuff Bifstoo. He make too much for him an Missy to eat, so me gets nice treets. Me lick foods up and down yard, cos you always miss a bit if you don't. It gorgeous, it mouth slobberingly wonderfull that beat dogfud into treeplace.

Boss better cook more soon, or he gonna have his boots gnawed.

Newsies

All is happy Humna's now. Boss smell happy. Missy smell happy, an we go lookin for big house to live in. Nice Humna there like me, an give me treats even though I not go walkies with him.

Boss not takin pills no more, so no more grunty noises from the throne of smells. Throne of smells not so bad smellin neither.

Me go see my big friend twice a day, an we go smell the news. He tell me 'bout his Humna's, an I go tell him what a strange Boss mine is. He fink is funny, but he a pedigree an they is a bit fick like that.