Catz is own punishment. Cats carry icky diseases. Hah! that teech next doors moggy to call me 'dirty ol mutt. I show him report fing from bosses paper sayin' cat owners got mersa. Him no call me no 'dirty ol mutt no more. I tell him he can lick hisself all he wants but him still a mucky moggy.
I'd roll in bear shit if I could find me some, I's so happy. Woof!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Bifstooo! Gimme Bifstoo!
Boss say 'no' and 'bad dog' when I try sneakies into the foods place. No my fault. It him makin lots of lubberly smelly stuff in hot box that smell of fartz. Lass night, Boss gimme treat for being very good. Him say, "Hey boy. You wan treat?" Was my mother a bitch? Corse I wanna treet. Treets is good stuff and makes I much happys.
Boss call stuff Bifstoo. He make too much for him an Missy to eat, so me gets nice treets. Me lick foods up and down yard, cos you always miss a bit if you don't. It gorgeous, it mouth slobberingly wonderfull that beat dogfud into treeplace.
Boss better cook more soon, or he gonna have his boots gnawed.
Boss call stuff Bifstoo. He make too much for him an Missy to eat, so me gets nice treets. Me lick foods up and down yard, cos you always miss a bit if you don't. It gorgeous, it mouth slobberingly wonderfull that beat dogfud into treeplace.
Boss better cook more soon, or he gonna have his boots gnawed.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Newsies
All is happy Humna's now. Boss smell happy. Missy smell happy, an we go lookin for big house to live in. Nice Humna there like me, an give me treats even though I not go walkies with him.
Boss not takin pills no more, so no more grunty noises from the throne of smells. Throne of smells not so bad smellin neither.
Me go see my big friend twice a day, an we go smell the news. He tell me 'bout his Humna's, an I go tell him what a strange Boss mine is. He fink is funny, but he a pedigree an they is a bit fick like that.
Boss not takin pills no more, so no more grunty noises from the throne of smells. Throne of smells not so bad smellin neither.
Me go see my big friend twice a day, an we go smell the news. He tell me 'bout his Humna's, an I go tell him what a strange Boss mine is. He fink is funny, but he a pedigree an they is a bit fick like that.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Poorly Boss
Me keepin' clear of Boss cos him smell funny. Sort of funnier than usual. He bit poorly so go to Humna Vets and come back wiv pill. Boss look at pill, poke it, look at me an say "What you fink boy?" I slunk off to my box. No good gettin near Boss when he in funny mood, an' I ain't larfin.
Boss take pill and wait. He say, "This ain't so bad." Harf hour later all I can hear is grumble, grumble from Bosses tum, an he slink off to throne of smells in the Humna gettin wet room. Lots of 'phrp!' an' other horrible grunty noises I could hear even in my box. Him stuck in there for hours. He was late with my walkies and everything. I did take a sniff later, but it was orrible. I wouldn't have left a cat in there.
This not good enuff. The service in this here doghouse has gone right downhill. Maybe if I suck up to Missy, she be better at feedin me reglar.
Boss take pill and wait. He say, "This ain't so bad." Harf hour later all I can hear is grumble, grumble from Bosses tum, an he slink off to throne of smells in the Humna gettin wet room. Lots of 'phrp!' an' other horrible grunty noises I could hear even in my box. Him stuck in there for hours. He was late with my walkies and everything. I did take a sniff later, but it was orrible. I wouldn't have left a cat in there.
This not good enuff. The service in this here doghouse has gone right downhill. Maybe if I suck up to Missy, she be better at feedin me reglar.
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